Saturday, December 4, 2010

My virtual family.

I'll try to keep this brief because I don't want to dwell on negativity. Okay I have to move next month, no idea where, I only have 2 unemployment checks left and there are no more extensions. If I go back to work and switch to night classes I won't get my A+ cert for like a year because the tech classes I need aren't offered in the same way as they are during the day. Basically I only need to make it to April until I get my cert AND because of my grades and attendance, I'm guaranteed a job from Career Services at school, well not with THEM but they will find me one. I was talking with my cousin last night and she's right, dropping days and switching to nights or taking time off, not an option. I'm so close and I've worked so hard to get this far, I can't put this off! So even if it means living in my car, I'm going forward with school. I'm a little apprehensive (okay I'm scared) but, ya know what, I can do this. I've faced bigger obstacles and there is a possibility that Congress will pass a bill that will allow the extensions. I do have a cousin here but that's not really an option for reasons I won't go into here and I know nobody else, so...yeah. I'll have enough for a hotel room for maybe a month and a half. I have friends and family but they live so far away, it wouldn't be worth it gas wise to even try and commute and also my car is on it's last leg. So my future is daunting but I just gotta keep my mantra, make it 'til May. May is when we are officially done with our first year, April I should be certified and employable. So I don't know what's going to come with the new year, but I do know I can't get off my path school wise. For those thinking find a job that works around your school schedule, well I've been told to my face that I'm over qualified by managers from restaurants and a couple retailers. I'm still going to try, just not gonna bank on it. And I'm not joking about sleeping in my car, if that's what it takes to get my cert then that's what I'll do. I'm a very strong person and while my future is uncertain, I'm not uncertain about finishing my first year, with my class, as planned.

On another note, I didn't feel this confident last night. I had a great night with my cousin and niece, saw a movie and felt calmer after talking to my cousin but I still just felt in a funk. Last year the few friends I had here in Sacramento, I had to cut out of my life because I felt like they were toxic for me. Once I did that, everything just fell into my lap and now I'm in school. So I know I did the right thing. My best friends live out of state or where my family lives so I feel alone up here in Sac. I'm in my room last night and I'm feeling really low and just...I dunno, like nobody gives a shit. And I know that's not true but you know what I mean, we've all been there. I'm on Twitter and one of the guys I follow tweets a Tumblr post and I just started bawling. He included me in a group of people that he really cares about and I just, I lost it because it's so what I needed at that hear. I mean he was out with his friends and he blogs about how much he cares about his friends, family and girlfriend and then bam I see my twitter handle included. Anthony, if you read this (you're going to 'cause I'm tweeting it to ya! ;) I hope you know you really touched someone and I am so happy to know you, even if it's only on Twiiter. :) hugz my friend. So to all my virtual friends, I appreciate you and please know that you keep me going. I connect with you every day and I thank you for your tweets, your comments on my blog, your text messages...all of it. The past year has been trying and it looks like the new year is going to be worse and even though I may not know anyone in this metropolis I live in, I have you guys on my laptop, on my BlackBerry, every day giving me laughter, encouragement, support and much love. I hope I am giving all that back to you. Big Hugz! ;) peace


  1. Oh, hon, I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could to to make everything better. Keeping working hard. Don't give up on school, and keep looking for a job. It will work out somehow. It just has to. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. You know where to find me if you need someone to listen.

    You definitely give your online friends love and encouragement. Thank you for that.


  2. @eyre I know I'll be okay, I believe in that. Thank you for being my friend and letting me vent about so many things. hugz.

  3. You know we love you and will always be there for you x

  4. Mate, you have my deepest respect on what you are doing. I have been broke in my time and I know it's not fun at all. And although I've only been hanging round here a fee months, I get the feeling that you've had to put up with more crap than the rest of your regular readers put together.

    So hang on there dude. I'm a firm believer in education, and a brilliant career and a hot boyfriend are just around the corner, I know it.

    *buddy hugs*


  5. Hey Leo,

    Like Eyre, I believe in you. I think everything is certainly going to work out for you. Most of your problems will be fixed the moment you finish school. But till then you have my total support (well as much as a virtual friend can give). I want to thank you as well, for everything you have done.

    Something on the side: You are a softie (Yes, you are! Don't worry I like it), but a strong willed person. I admire the mix. NS

  6. @ns I am not softie! ;) okay, kinda. Thank you. ;) peace