Monday, September 19, 2005

Where I'm supposed to be...

...last night I was talking to a friend of mine here in town and she asked if I think I've had a good life. It made me think. I told her...I think I've had an excellent life! I'm 35 and have lived more and seen more than some people twice my age, I've dated men who could afford to fly me all over the place on a moments notice and dated men who couldn't get a job if their life depended on it. I've stayed at some of the finest hotels in the U.S. and also went a week without electricity in my little one bedroom apartment (just recently actually). I've lived overseas and in Las Vegas, Phoenix, San Jose, Fresno...just to name a few. I guess one can say I've been on both sides of the spectrum. After telling my friend about some of my adventures, I felt a bit nostalgic for my "nomadic" ways, but then again I haven't even been here a year yet. She asked if I missed that lifestyle, and for the first time I can honestly say...not really. I'm where I'm supposed to be right now, I'm content here. It's been quite awhile since I've been content. I like my little apartment, my laid back job and my little circle of friends. I love the weather and the laid back atmosphere of this city, I like being away from my family's drama. I don't have that "restlessness" about me anymore (well at least not now). I think the second chapter of my life is really about me finishing school. There's still a lot I want to do and see, and money will really help with that. I'm not really at that age to be a boytoy anymore *grin*. Besides, I want to do things on my own...explore by myself. So where I'm going after this, God only knows...but for now, I'm where I'm supposed to be. Of course I could drop out of school by mid-terms and end up staying at a friends place in Hawaii (which was something I was pondering before I ended up here). I think that's the beauty of my life, I just don't really know where the wind will blow me. Some people can't stand that, they can't stand not having a plan or knowing what's happening next. I on the other hand don't want to know, I don't want to have a plan or know what's around the corner, that's just not my style. You can live life or exist. I'd like to think I'm living... :-)
Now...if my landlord would only let me have a dog...

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