Do I really want to work?...

...I mean I haven't worked for three years! Ok, let me rephrase that I haven't had to think in three years. See I had this high stress, important job with many responsibilities and all that. I was burnt out, I couldn't take any time off 'cause I had meetings and conferences coming up and deadlines. Then my uncle passed and I had a really bad break up...and I woke up one day and said f*ck it. So I quit and became a waiter at Denny's. I have always wanted to be a server. Seriously. Yeah my parents were soooo proud. :D I did that for a bit and moved to Fresno (okaaay!) and then from there is when I moved back to South Dakota (where all good Lakota people are from) and I went to school for two years and just basically was also a waiter and also worked for the state archaeological research center as an admin. It was nice, it was peaceful. No stress from friends and family (well some, I did have family there also) but it was just mellow. I was broke as hell and missed all my toys and luxuries I took for granted here in CA...ya know, cable, Internet access...camera phones. I was at peace though. Then...I started missing swiping my check card and not worrying about whether it would go through or not (oh do you see the materialism coming out here?!). I also missed the culture and the fast life blah blah blah...so I moved back in September. Now I'm at a job where this is PLENTY of opportunity for me and I'm being pressured by higher ups to take a positoin with as much stress and responsibility as the one I gave up three years ago. Do I do it? I really just want to be a bartender! LOL the new position is good money, it's a challenge but still. So that is my dilemma right now. I feel kind of bad because some people don't even have jobs and would kill for my position, then again I feel like I should do what I want. Ew. I feel like a hippie, except without the pot smoking and the bad hair. So now that's the crossroads I'm at. I have to make a decision to apply soon. There isn't even a guarantee I'll get the position, but my boss keeps asking me to apply. So I left the office tonight after yet another late night, and I'm in traffic in downtown Sacramento and I'm looking to the people to the right and left of me and I can see how drained they are, I know I am also. Is this is it? Is this life? Do I give up my somewhat bohemian existence and conform? I mean I'm no spring chicken anymore, I guess I should think about my future...but at what cost? So that's my dilemma. ON the other hand, I have a great location office wise, good food within walking distance and if I move to Midtown I can walk to work and everything else I want, clubs, cinema, shopping etc. So I dunno. Oh and let's not forget the hottie at the bank and the sandwich shop! LOL hey I have to find a silver lining in everything...that's just my nature! So I'm beat and about to go make a nice dent on the couch for awhile. Speaking of hotties here are a few for you to enjoy. I don't normally comment on the pics I post but I will on the first and last pics.
The first one...is a beautiful pic...but...ugly at the same time. I love it, it's kind of disgusting but yet so nicely posed. I wish I knew where it came from. The last pic is an ode to a friend who I was emailing today and said I had no gay pride! Ok, I don't have time for gay pride! I'm wearing two hats at work as it is! LOl but I thought it was an appropriate pic. Hope everyone has a good night, tomorrow is Friday...TGIF! ;-) peace