Random Memory

My best friend, of well over 2 decades, is coming to visit in a couple weeks. He fell in love on Facebook and moved to Boston. Idiot. The love has soured and now he's stuck in the relationship without the means to get out. My "I told you so" was drawn out and to the bone. Don't worry, we're that close where we don't take that stuff seriously. :)

Years ago, we were on a road trip to Vegas. I had just bought Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill and was listening to it over and over. I was the driver the driver gets to choose the music. Well he decided that he had enough of Alanis and ejected the tape. I politely asked him to put it back in the deck to which he said some profanity I will not repeat here. So I uh, sped up, yeah...I mean he has a fear of dying in a car and I wasn't getting my way. He tried to call my bluff but I kept going faster and faster. By this time he is screaming at me to slow down I calmly reply "put the tape back in" he says something like "do you want to be responsible for my death, do you want that on your head". I calmly reply "If God uses me as instrument to take you out...so be it". He just stared at me. He put the tape back in, I slowed down, and we started laughing our asses off! So that became one of our catch phrases to use when we put each others life in danger.

We also have Ford F150, which we use when we disagree on something. This is when the Ford F150 came out all curvy and modern. We both spot it on the road at the same time, he says that's ugly WHILE I'm saying cool truck...we look at each other and go ew! (for disagreeing with each other I guess) and just start laughing. Then there is Chocolate Dougnut, that's when you are taking something that's mine. We had taken a road trip up to Oregon to visit my brother. Small town with limited night life, but we decided to hit one of the local bars anyways since it was a Friday night. We each had a doughnut we picked up on the trip and he decided to eat his. I told him he should wait, because there won't be a lot of options to eat once the bar closes, because it's such a small town. Well he's always been um, fluffy, so he didn't listen to me and ate his before we went out. When we got in that night we sat down facing each other on our beds chatting about the night. I turn around to grab something out of my bag, and when I turn back around he has my doughnut in his mouth! Quicker than I thought I could move, I smack it out of his mouth! His eyes are big as plates, and we both at the same time, turn our heads to look at the wall where the chocolate doughnut had hit. Dead silence. We turn back to face each other and fall back on our beds laughing our asses off! I told him not to eat my doughnut! I don't even like sweets, but the point was that it was mine! I think I ended up letting him eat it anyways. Ya know it being on the floor and all. :)

Or the time we were driving to San Jose, and in the middle of the convo he quits talking, his eyes get big and he just starts pointing. I was driving so I turn to my left and there is this 747 coming right at us. Well on the other side of us was the SJ airport, which he did not know about. I almost drove us off the road laughing so hard!! The time I was talking to him while driving (way before that stupid law) and it was a thunderstorm, and he told me lighting goes through cell phones, so I immediately threw my phone on to the floor of my car! I could hear him laughing all the way up to my seat. Ya know, 4 rubber tires and everything.

My favorite memory of all times, or at least the one that gets me laughing so I can't stop, is when he missed the 2nd to last stair and fell face first into his laundry and went OOMPH! And then he just laid there! LMFAO!! He was like 425lbs at the time, and it was like slow motion. I saw him start to go, but he was carrying a huge load of laundry with no basket, so I figured he'd fall in the clothes. Which he did. It was the delayed oomph and the fact he just didn't move for a couple seconds that had me on the floor! I was trying to ask him if he was okay, but I couldn't get the words out, and he was calling me every name in the book. OMG! I will never forget that oomph! LOL

When he comes back in a couple weeks he wants to go to SF, that's his only drawback. As the years went by I left the gay lifestyle because I didn't really have a lot in common with those who ONLY did gay things. Gay pride, gay bars, gay gay gay. He's only comfortable in a gay setting. So for him, and the 20+ years of friends, I'll nelly it up as best as I can for his vacation. ;) peace